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Run towards yourself

Hey, hey, hey ladies. I’m back with a quick one. I got tired of writing about relationships and sex, when something exciting happens in my love life and I get inspiration to write something, I will. But for now, it’s not that deep or important.

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So let’s now please focus on ourselves. I want to talk about the importance of creating a strong relationship with yourself. Sounds all preachy and stuff, but it’s needed and it’s important. This ain’t no therapy session, but we gon talk about some things.

A lot of us put large amounts of time, energy, money and even our bodies into other people. We focus so hard on maintaining relationships, with our family, friends, partners, that we forget to put some good ole work into maintaining a relationship with ourselves. A healthy relationship that is. You have to remember that you are all you have. You have to look after yourself, mentally, physically and spiritually. I’ve already talked about mental health in a previous post.

https://feedthequeen.com/2017/05/09/dealing-with-depression/

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And physically, obviously means, what you’re putting into your body, like food and of course exercise.

But spiritually is a factor we tend to forget. I like to think of it as, me, myself and I. (And the many other versions of myself) I have created relationships with all of them, learnt their pros and cons; and got to know when they are needed. This is a work in progress, but let me explain. There is me as a whole and then there are various versions. There is happy me, sad me, I wanna be alone me, let’s go hang out me, productive me,  not so productive me, I could go on and on. The point is, is to accept the fact that you are not perfect. There are many sides to a woman, we are not this one prototype. We can be one person today and another person tomorrow. And that is fine. You can change your mind.

The point of the matter is, take time to find yourself or your many selfs. Whatever it is, just make sure to put yourself first. Your health, your happiness, your well-being. Shower yourself in self-love girl.

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Do not ever forget to want more for yourself. If you aren’t happy about something in your life, change it, cut it out. Don’t have no money, go make some. Take some vitamins, go for a run, learn that language you always wanted to learn. Apply for that course you’re too scared to go to, book that flight, run that race. You dig? I make it sound easy and it’s not. Nothing in the adult world is. What I’m saying is you just gotta do it.

What I’m trying to say is do not limit yourself because of your fears. Be smart, but don’t be afraid to take risks, jump in and get s**t done. Don’t let your fears hold you back, don’t let your fears consume you. Don’t let your fears funnel their way down into the next generation. So many people are afraid and allow those fears to affect their relationships. So much so, that when they have kids, they push those fears on to their children. Next thing you know, they are afraid to live life too.

That’s why it’s so important for me to live my life, so one day when I eventually decide to have kids (maybe). I can teach and raise them to live life to fullest. I can actually create good human beings for the future. This is what I meant by, putting yourself first. It sounds selfish, but at the end of the day, doing you means you will eventually help the people in your life. It all starts with you. Wanting to be in a healthy relationship, with your dream man or wanting to have the dream job, means you have to sort your s**t out. You can’t have any of that until you do so. Not truly happily anyway.

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I just figured this out and it’s exciting. It’s exciting to think of all the things you can do when you just accept yourself. When you just decide to be happy, when you decide to do you. It’s crazy to think that a lot of girls and even grown women are walking around not knowing this.

If this post made no sense to you, then you haven’t gotten there yet. Maybe you will understand one day. I’m never deleting this blog, so I can come back and laugh at how ridiculous I was a few years from now. So you can come back here whenever you want. Come back as many times, till it makes sense. Come back to argue if you really want to. I’m here.

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Stop running away life, stop running towards these f!&%kboys, start running towards dem goals. (I ain’t telling you what to do tho)

Run towards yourself babygirl. You’ll get there eventually.

Until next time,

Stay blessed.

Wifey material or nah?

Drum roll please… No… Ok. 😑 

Well I’m back and not with a bang. Apologies for the lack of content. I had uni work due, then I graduated and now I’m looking for a job. So life has been hectic. 

But we are back at it and now we’re going to talk about the idea of being ‘wifeable’. This is a topic that has been of great popularity lately. I feel like its all I’ve been talking about for the past few months. 

I can’t remember when or where it was, but I was sitting with my friend and she said, “I just want to be taken out for dinner.” And that made me think shitttttttttttttt… It would be nice to be taken out for dinner. Why don’t guys want to take me out for dinner? *has mental break down* “OMG GUYS DON’T WANT TO TAKE US OUT FOR DINNER!!!” 

My friend continued to say that she’s never been taken on a proper date. She has just met guys and then got into relationships with them straight away. They would move in and then she would become the nagging, “Why won’t you take me out for dinner”, girlfriend. She wanted to be taken out and actually experience the dating scene. Which is fair enough. Right?

Now I’ve been taken out on dates before and its really nice to be wined and dined. But what I’ve noticed recently is that guys don’t want to bother with whole dating thing, they just want to get straight to bed. 

So you’re there thinking “Duh”… “F!%kboys be F!%kboys!” “You’re attracting the wrong type of guy.” And yes true, all of the above are all certain possibilities as to why guys don’t want to take us out, but there seems to be a pattern. And plus, as the paranoid twit that I am, I began to wonder why I’m not the type of girl that guys look at and go, “I would like to take the woman to dinner.” 

Are there such men like that anymore? Or am I ‘NON-WIFEABLE’ *DUN DUN DUN* (Insert dramatic music for effect)

Yes I said it non wifeable. A term most ladies do not want to hear. A term that can break the hopes and dreams of a young simpleton such as myself. 

But what does it mean?

It means you’re nice, but not nice enough to take seriously. It means a guy will like you, but only for a week. It means, he’ll pick you up, but just to take you back to his place. And of course the is all at your allowance, but nevertheless depressing af. 

I always get the feeling that guys are like, “she’s alright, but she’s not worth the trouble.”  So the point of this is, why is this happening? Is it the way I carry myself? Is it how I dress? The way I speak? Or perhaps is it that I never wear a bra? Ricdulous…  Do men really judge you on such things?  Do I really look like the type of woman that just doesn’t mind going back to his for a good ole netflx and chill session? And if so how do I not look llike that type of woman? Questions. Questions.

No don’t get me wrong I’m not changing for no one, but I like the idea of discussing possible ‘flaws’ in my persona that would deter men from wanting anything more that the odd night with me. (I’m crazy I know)

So I created a list of what I think men look at when they meet women. Like a sort of checklist of things that men will look at and think, “nope she’s not worth more than a text every month saying wuup2.”

So here it is. Things you should or shouldn’t do to somehow get a man to take you seriously. (This is a list made up by myself, some friends and opinions of various men that I know.)

  • If you met on tinder, then he’s already planning on hitting and quitting. Tinder has gotten itself quite a reputation of being a breeding ground for easy hookups, which is fine if you’re down for it. But don’t be surprised when the hottie you match with, just wants you to come back to his, when his mums at work.
  • Some men have this idea that if you dress a certain way, then you must be a certain type of person. The classic example is, if you need help and you see someone dressed like a police officer, you’re going to run up to them and ask for help. If the person turns around and says, “no sorry, I’m not actually  a police officer”, You’re going to be pretty pissed off. Some men see woman’s attire as the same thing. Essentially in the mind of some, if you dress like a hoe, you a hoe. I could go on all day about how stupid that theory is, but I’m not going too. Apparently me not wearing a bra causes some problems. *rolls eyes* 

  • If you are too independant. Crazy I know, but again some men think… She can take her own self out to dinner. They think it’s about money and it’s not. I just want to be taken out for a meal and all of that good dating stuff. I can pay for my half. 
  • If you do anything that is considered masculine or something a man would do. E.g. smoking, drinking from the bottle, swearing, being too laid back or “chill. In short: not “ladylike”.

  •  And of course the big one… Sex. Giving up the puntang on the first date was top on the list. For obvious reasons. Some men think you’re too easy, they got what they wanted and now they don’t have to bother.  Like OK sex is great. Staying at home, cuddled up is great. But sometimes it’s nice to go out for a meal. But some men find that to intimate… Like being inside someone isn’t intimate enough, making conversation with you across the table will just be too much.

Now all of these reasons listed above are nothing for you to worry about. If you meet someone and they don’t like the way you act or dress or whatever, then tough nuts. That is their problem not yours. 

I personally think you can be beautiful, cook, clean, be a ‘bad bitch’ in the bedroom and still not get taken seriously. The phrase ‘wifey material’ is bull. Be you and and someone will come along and like it enough to want to take you to Disneyland Paris. (Yes I would love that!)

I just keep telling myself that one day someone will come along and accept me in all my finery, including my flaws. Isn’t that the whole point of love or whatever? For the person to accept you. 

This isn’t a post to tell you how to become wifey material or to get a man. If you thought that was what it was going to be, then sorry hun, you on the wrong blog. I am way too young, inexperienced and single to be giving women advice on how to get a man. 😂 I AM SINGLE AF! SEND HELP!

The point of all this is, if a guy doesn’t want to take you seriously, say sayounara to him sister. No one is worth you stressing over. Remember that you are in control of what happens in your life. My friend and I actually decided to take ourselves out. We work, we make our own money and we enjoys our own or each others company, so it works out. “Imma take myself to nandos and stroke my own damn thigh.” 😂

So as you can tell I’ve been quite good throughout and not made this a personal attack on men. I do know that there are men out there that like to treat their lady. Good for you and especially good for her. But I am talking about a specific type of manbaby in this post. If you offended then I got news for you… *whispers* “you a little baby.”

Ladies until next time. 

Stay blessed.

Surviving your twenties 

A quick lil post with the usual ranting antics. Being in your twenties can seem like a real struggle sometimes. Your just starting out in life, you don’t know what you’re doing, you’re broke, you’re living with mummy and daddy (if you’re lucky) and everything just seems like its going nowhere. 

But do not fret. Feed The Queen is here to help. As a fellow 20 something year old, I can understand the pain of being completely lost. But its not all bad. Being in your twenties means you simply have more years to make the most out of your life. I don’t want to get to 50 and realise I haven’t done anything with my life or completely regret the decisions I made. Imagine waking up in a bed with a man you dont love or being stuck in a dead end job taking orders from someone who doesnt give a damn about your life. Dramatic huh? 

So I complied a list of what I think you should be doing to survive the horrible 20s. It helps me, so it might help you. 

Now this is something that I have only come to realise. Something’s aren’t supposed to be permanent. This can be for jobs, houses and most importantly people. You have to realise that you are going to go through different phases in your life. And that means that sometimes certain people are not going to move into the next phase with you. This can be hard to hear, because the thought of not talking to a certain friend or not being with your current boyfriend can be depressing. But thats life. And the first step in being an adult is accepting that life is a bitch. 

Sorry to break it to you. 

Again, something I am now starting to now do. And that is… Making myself happy. I’ve talked about this in previous posts. If it doesn’t make you happy, cut it out. Do what you want (in moderation) live your life. If something or someone is being a downer… You know what to do.

Not believing in yourself or what you can do, WILL limit your opportunities in life. If, in your mind believes you cannot do something, well guess what… you’re not going to be able to do it. I still haven’t been able to learn how to swim, because I’m convinced I’m going to die. 😂

The point is, have confidence in yourself. Believe in yourself and what you can do. 

Have you ever been invited out to an event or with friends and because of maybe anxiety or something like that… You cancel or say no? Or maybe a guy asked you out, but you got scared, because of your insecurities. This goes back to being confident, but the point is don’t be afriad to live your life. Say yes more, experience life, see what it has to offer you. You will make mistakes but thats OK… You learn from them. 

This is the phrase of my life. ITS NOT THAT DEEP. Life is too short to be worrying about men or some other person. Life is too short to be worrying about whether someone likes you or if you’ve got a spot on your face. Petty nonsense like that will hold you back love. Relax, go with flow. There are people in all around the world that are suffering, things that you could never imagine are happening right now. So I try not to complain and moan about my little problems, because it really isn’t that deep. I might be broke, hungry (I have food, I’m just being spoilt. First world problems.) and single,  but I’m alive with a roof over my head. 

This goes back to confidence and all of that. Knowing when to really jump into a situation and challenge yourself is the key to growth. And being in your twenties is all about growth. Its OK to push yourself sometimes and come out of your comfort zone, thats how you learn. Go learn Spanish, like you always wanted to or finally learn to swim (like I’ve been planning to do for the longest time)

The basic lesson to take from this post is to just live your life. I want to look back and can say that I really enjoyed my twenties, that it was a crazy time, but I enjoyed it.

Any advice for us twentie year olds? Comment below.

Until next time, stay blessed Queens.

Dealing with depression

This is long overdue. I was supposed to write about this a long time ago, but it’s ok… I’m doing it now.

Depression is something I wanted to talk about to you guys because it is something that has affected me all my life. Whether that be with me directly or having to deal with it from people in my life. Depression is something that effects a lot of people, some know it, some don’t. The key is to know when it’s starting to creep on you and how to stomp it out. I use the word creep because that’s how I would describe it. It’s not the feeling of suddenly becoming sad, it really is something that slowing consumes you.

So what exactly is depression?

I have no idea. Is it the emotion of just being sad and down? Or is it an actual mental thing?

Well, let me tell you what I think. Being sad, feeling down and having depression is all a mental thing. Everything goes back to your mind. Of course, there are different levels to how you feel, so sadness could be a lower level and depression could be a higher level. But at the end of the day if you are feeling some type of way, whether it be a weak or stronger feeling, something is happening and only YOU can do something to change it.

Now don’t let me fool you, taking action and fighting against your own self is the MOST difficult thing. Fighting with another person always seems hard, but at the end of the day, you can cut them off. You can tell them to go away, you can put the phone down, you can block them. You can call the police, you can run away. But when you are fighting with yourself, there is nowhere to run. You cannot just block out your mind or cut off your emotions. You are within yourself and there is nowhere to run. And that my dears… is depression. (for me) The fucking trap that is your mind and its got you by the balls/ovaries, as you run around and around trying to escape. Deep right? I guess that’s what leads to people committing suicide. The feeling of not having anywhere to go or no way out. But…

Now dealing with depression is something that I’m still working on. Getting my mind right and being happy is the number one goal in life. Me before anything.

So what can you do to combat these feelings?

  • Find out what’s making you feel like 💩💩This can be hard because sometimes you don’t even know what’s making you feel that way. It could be a certain person. It could be a certain place. Or something as simple as a smell, that just makes you feel down. (which sounds crazy but really is possible) For me, it’s my surroundings. I don’t like feeling trapped or crowded in. Which is one of the reasons why I’m bad with people. The idea of being stuck or limited to one place makes me in easy. I combat this with simply going outside. It doesn’t matter where you are in the world, you can be outside. Some places are better than some, but never the less, being outside is a luxury most people have. Just open the door and walk to the park. One of the most beautiful things you can witness is the sunset/sunrise. And it’s free!! That right there can heal any soul. Sit on the bench or in the dirty grass and just breath. That is my way of freedom. So right now, I’m writing this on my phone at my nan’s house and everyone is talking, making noise. So I decided to go out in the garden and breath. Anti-social yes, but I feel better now. Whenever I used to feel down at uni, because I was all alone, in a box room with no money. I would walk up to this beautiful place, where you could see the London skyline and watch the sunset. That right there was peace.

  • Surround yourself with people who want the best for you. Now I always go on about this, but fake friends and fake relationships are toxic. Cut that shit out man… SAY IT WITH ME…. CUT THAT SHIT OUT. If you’re dealing with your own stuff and people are not understanding or making it worse. Then how is that going to help you, my dear? IF IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU HAPPY… CUT IT OUT.
  • Combat a negative action with two positive ones. Because why not double up on the positivity. Cancel out the negativity and start feeling good.
  • Stop backing out of situations that you really want to do, but are too scared to. Everyone has their own goals and aspirations. And if you want to do something. Go do it. It’s all about your happiness, remember? If you want to make music, make music. If you want to learn Spanish, go learn Spanish. If you want to do something, go do it. I really want to travel and that’s what I’m going to do. (I just need the money.😂😂) Because again it goes back my idea if freedom. Short story is, don’t be afraid to push yourself.

  • Don’t be afraid to talk about your feelings. This is something most men struggle with. You’re out here tryin be “the man”, but that stuff impacts your relationships. How can your partner and your friends and everyone else be understanding if they don’t know what you’re going through. I mean just because you tell people how you’re feeling, doesn’t mean they are going to be understanding. But it could help. You don’t have to sit there crying but just saying… “Hey, my mind isn’t in a good place, right now and I’m just going to need some time to get it right” The amount of relationships that have broken down because of the lack of communication of someone’s feelings.
  • Make the most out of the little things. Instead of letting things get you down, whatever they may be. Try and be optimistic… Which a lot of people find disgusting, with all that happy nonsense. Of course be realistic, but it works with me. Things are bad, yes, but, things can always be better. It’s easy for me to say this, because of my life. And I understand for a lot of people around the world, things aren’t just going to get better. But hey…. I’m just being optimistic.

Some people say depression is all about being a victim. A victim to yourself maybe? 🤔🤔 But trust me, you have the power to change it and make it better.

So remember to identify the reason for your depression if you can…. It may be something about yourself you’re not happy with. Counter that with a positive action or two. And just keep going.

Comment below and let me know what you think. I like hearing your opinions. Agree? Disagree? Ways you cope with depression… Let me know.

And until next time. Stay blessed.

Marriage or casual sex?

Here we go again. I am back and ready to commit… To my blog that is. 

Let’s jump straight into it.  This has been a topic that I’ve been coming across a lot lately. And I’ve been asking myself… Am I a marriage person or a causal sex person? Do I want to spend the rest of my life with one man or do I want multiple lovers from across the globe?

Hmmmm… Both sound kinda good.

But for real, I’m freaking out. I don’t know what I want. Like…. Men are nice and all, but I’m still waiting to meet someone that I REALLY CONNECT WITH. I MEAN CONNECT WITH FULLY, LIKE 100%. I wanna be with someone that I can connect with emotionally, spiritually, physically, mentally and all of that good stuff. And unfortunately people now a days are just too guarded and messed up to even want to open up like that. 

Millennial dating is way to complicated. We don’t trust each other, we don’t have the time, we can’t be bothered, we are selfish, we have crazy unrealistic expectations, Tinder exists. So trying to find someone and actually have a healthy relationship is hard and really rare.

Don’t get me wrong, its easy to meet someone you like, someone that you vibe with, someone who is nice. But at the end of the day most of us are only on 75%. You like cats, he likes cats, big deal, doesn’t mean you’re soulmates. Or maybe you guys have really good sex. Which means you are connecting 100% on a physical level, but what about everything else. Some of you couples be walking around on 5% mentally, fronting all over Instagram pretending to be happy. *kisses teeth in bajan* 

And if you are OK living like that, then by all means go on and be “happy”. But I don’t want to do that, I mean I can and I have. But I want 100% from myself and my partner. 

Until then, Imma keep my amazing ass single. So that leaves me with the option of either being celibate or having casual sex. So… Celibate?? Whats that?? (We can talk about that at another time) 😂😂😂 

OK so maybe I should just hook up with random guys then? Just sex. And I mean just SEX. No feelings or anything like that…

Problem is sometimes your not in control of your emotions. Casual sex/dating can lead to more problems as well. You think it would be easy, but it can be just as stressful. One person might catch feelings and now its awkward. Like what do you do after that?? Just awkwardly delete their number or nah…

Its all good and easy saying you’re down to just have sex, but when he doesn’t wanna cuddle, you gon be feeling some type of way. All I’m saying is make sure you’re actually emotionally stable for that type of life. I always think I’m cool with it, but then if I don’t get a ‘Good Morning beautiful’ text, I’m all disappointed and whiny.

Unfortunately the casual sex life isn’t really for me either. I mean having sex is fun, thats why millions of people around the world do it. But hooking up with guys doesn’t bring me joy, it doesn’t bring me happiness, it doesn’t make me feel better as a person. All it does is allows me to briefly feel the comforts of a relationship and require some sort of male attention. And at of the end of the day, thats all I want… Male attention.  And that’s certainly what a man can give you. But…

… you have to be careful. This type of attention can be damaging to you. If all your getting is a good dick down every week, from a guy who doesn’t even know your last name, then it can leave you feeling really drained. Trust me… You need to figure out what you really want. 

I personally, would love to be in a relationship. As I said earlier, but a proper one, one that is healthy and beneficial to both parties. But life isnt that easy. So all I have to do now is get to know people. Date and talk and see what they’re really about. 

And you should do the same my dear. If you’re reading this and having the same dilemma, then that is my advice. Take your time, get to know the guy. Sex is always an option, do it if you want. But just remember that just because a man gives you attention, doesn’t mean he’s worthy of yours. You don’t have to entertain every man that acknowledges you. *I tell myself this everyday.* As much ad I love our brothers, some of them are posion. And I’m not going to go round, trying to change them all. That’s too much stress on my soul. 😂😂

If you’re sitting there, reading this, thinking its not that deep. Then congratulations!!!! Go out and run free in the wild. I envy you. 

Anyways, let me know what you think. Are you a marriage or casual sex type of person. 

Until next time, stay blessed Queens 👑👑

What to do when daddy starts acting a little too ‘Daddyish’

Let us commence with this meeting and jump straight into it. What to do when daddy starts acting a little too ‘Daddyish’. Well, what do I mean by this?

When daddy (your man)

starts acting a little too (by little I mean to damn much)

‘daddyish’ (Father like antics: I put this word in quotation marks, cause it’s not a word. Even though the term on Twitter has blown up as a hashtag)

Try to concentrate because I know the word daddy brings to mind this…

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Calm down 😏😏😏

But I really mean this…

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So now that you’ve got the idea, let’s talk about controlling men or men with daddy like qualities.

What’s with them? Controlling men are like literally the worst type of man. (There are so many different types of man that get under my skin, but I’m just being dramatic.) Now we all like a man who takes control. Which confuses some men. But baby, there is a difference between taking control and being controlling. Women like confidence, but we do not need to be told how to walk and talk and eat. And sometimes us women don’t see a controlling man when we have one, we can mistake it for confidence. Some of us think it’s sexy. We are not children. Some men will tell you how to dress, what to eat, when to sleep, when to breathe and blink. What next? You going to teach me how to wipe myself in the toliet? 

So what makes a controlling man?

  • He wants to know where you are every second of the day and exactly what you’re doing: Now don’t get me wrong, letting your partner know what your up to is fine, but there is a limit. Wanting an update every 5 minutes is annoying. If I say I’m with friends, THEN I’M WITH FRIENDS AND I WILL CALL YOU LATER. Trust me and trust that I’m not out cheating or something like that.
  • He pushes his ideologies/beliefs on you: Now this one makes my blood boil. Let me break it down for you, because I know I have a couple of brothers on here that read this. Your chilling, you turn around and see a beautiful woman, you approach her, get her number, go on a couple of dates. She is a real nice girl. But there’s one problem. She wears makeup. Now this is what I don’t like… When the man all of a sudden starts telling her she shouldn’t wear makeup. 😠😠😠😠 And I’m not a big fan of it myself, but you can’t go trying to change her. Why did you talk to her in the first place? You saw all of that highlight and contour up on her face from the first day. Why didn’t you talk to the girl with the bare face? There are plenty of fish in the sea daddy o. Do you see what I mean? And it can be deeper that just makeup. It can go into religion, diet, money all of it. Why are you a Muslim man  chatting to a atheist girl, knowing damn well she’s an atheist, then getting mad when she reaches for a ham sandwich? Go find a nice Halal sister.(because you want your wife and children have the same religious beliefs as you.) This is the woman who will raise your children. Take it seriously. So the very fact that your talking to her means your not looking for anything serious. Which is haram in thr first place and straight up disrespectful. So why do they still do it? You know why? Because some people want their cake and eat it too. They like the look of you, physically. They are sexually attracted to you, but when it comes down to something serious they all mad about s**t. The amount of brothers that approach me and then say I would look better with straight hair. Mate, you would look better with a straight job and a straight house and some straight five figures in that dry up account of yours. Let me calm down. 😂😂Maybe he doesn’t eat meat and you like dem spicy wings. Don’t let him change you. If you decide to do anything in life, make sure it’s your decision.  But I hope you understand me, ladies and gentlemen. Don’t go for someone who clearly is completly different to you. Life is too short to be wasting time trying to change someone or change for someone. Maybe I looking at this all wrong, but hey. I don’t know bout you ladies, but I DO NOT LIKE BEING TOLD WHAT TO DO. LET ME REPEAT. I DO NOT LIKE BEING TOLD WHAT TO DO.

  • He corrects everything you do: Like your a baby that needs to be told what to do or is doing something wrong.
  • He constantly puts you down: And bigs himself up, like your both in some sort of a competition.
  • Your spending less time with family and friends: Of course someone new in your life means there is going to be less time for the other people. But don’t forget about your loved ones. Being single has made me realise how much time I wasn’t spending with my mother and my grandparents. It made me realise how I didn’t actually have any friends. So I made some. I go out so much more now. I spend time with myself, learning and thinking. I even started this blog, because I was able to focus on myself. Just don’t let a man take all that away from you. Learn to balance him with the rest of your life and if he doesn’t like it well… You know what type of demon your working with.

So what do you do if daddy is acting a little too ‘daddyish’. 

Talk to him. Tell him how he’s making you feel and that you don’t like it. He might not know that he’s being a crazy cunt. 

And if that doesn’t work.

End it. 

Simple as. You deserve to be happy and if someone in your life isn’t making you happy, you gotta cut them off. ✂✂ 

So I hope that little rant helped some of you. Let me know if you agree or disagree with anything stated. I don’t mind, I’m all about making conversation.

Until next time,

Stay blessed Queens.👑👑👑

OTT Hair & Shaneka Neymour

So it’s been a long time since I featured a black business on here but finally, finally, finally. I got a hold of  Shaneka Neymour of OTT hair. I came across Over The Top hair, through a friend on Facebook and just simply had to get in touch. Since I recently cut my hair again, I could do with some OTT hair. Because some of us naturals know the struggle of growing out from a big chop. You’ve got this little puff ball on your head and all you want to do is put your hair in one, but your bun looks like it barely made it. Yes ladies, I’ve been there. Actually I’m still there. You don’t want to wear a wig, dem braids be itching like you’ve got fire ants crawling all through your scalp and the weave life is something your not ready to commit to. Plus a lot of these extensions look nothing like your natural hair type. So what is left?

*Drum roll please* Oh wait, I said it already. OTT Hair.

Right enough talking, Let’s see what she had to say.

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What gave you the idea to start up OTT hair?

The idea sparked one evening about 6 months after I big chopped. Around that time I was ready to start experimenting with protective styles but I didn’t want to wear a wig, weave or braids. What I felt I needed couldn’t be found anywhere so I created it myself. My goals were to save time doing my hair everyday, change up my style with minimal effort and still have a natural look. At the same time I was struggling with my next step career wise so I ended up developing a collection, brand and turned it into something bigger.

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http://www.otthair.com

What is the end goal for OTT hair and what is next?

I’m passionate about the things I create and share. It’s more than just selling a product. Happy, inspired women is what strive to see at the end of it all. The next step is…shhhhh 🙂

What is your definition of beauty?

My definition of beauty is the love and awareness that we have for ourselves and the way we transform that to connect and interact with others in a positive way. Of course there is physical beauty and we can all do something to enhance our appearance if desired but there’s nothing more beautiful than the energy we project when we feel good inside. That form of beauty can be seen AND felt.

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http://www.otthair.com

 

Who is your natural hair inspiration?

I don’t have a specific person as my inspiration, I simply admire the way other naturals try to inspire and support each other along the way.

One piece of advice for black women?

One piece of advice that I would give black women is to allow yourself to be happy. Only you can fill in the blanks.

A  few facts about the mind behind OTT hair.

A few facts about me: I will forever be an island girl. I was born and raised in Nassau, Bahamas and have lived in the Netherlands for 15 years. I enjoy music, dancing, and am always exploring ways to keep my mind and body fit.

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What’s one thing you think black people need to start doing?

One thing I think black people need to start doing is develop a higher degree of respect for themselves and others. There is so much unnecessary criticism, judgement, jealousy and condemnation within our communities. If you are not happy with your life, it’s time to look in the mirror and work on you, it’s not an opportunity to release negativity into other people’s lives and analyse their choices. We should be aware of what we say, what we do and don’t do and how that affects our own development, successes and journey in the world.

 So there you have it. Go check out her website ladies, http://www.otthair.com
Until next time. Stay Blessed and check out the other black businesses posts.