Wifey material or nah?

Drum roll please… No… Ok. 😑 

Well I’m back and not with a bang. Apologies for the lack of content. I had uni work due, then I graduated and now I’m looking for a job. So life has been hectic. 

But we are back at it and now we’re going to talk about the idea of being ‘wifeable’. This is a topic that has been of great popularity lately. I feel like its all I’ve been talking about for the past few months. 

I can’t remember when or where it was, but I was sitting with my friend and she said, “I just want to be taken out for dinner.” And that made me think shitttttttttttttt… It would be nice to be taken out for dinner. Why don’t guys want to take me out for dinner? *has mental break down* “OMG GUYS DON’T WANT TO TAKE US OUT FOR DINNER!!!” 

My friend continued to say that she’s never been taken on a proper date. She has just met guys and then got into relationships with them straight away. They would move in and then she would become the nagging, “Why won’t you take me out for dinner”, girlfriend. She wanted to be taken out and actually experience the dating scene. Which is fair enough. Right?

Now I’ve been taken out on dates before and its really nice to be wined and dined. But what I’ve noticed recently is that guys don’t want to bother with whole dating thing, they just want to get straight to bed. 

So you’re there thinking “Duh”… “F!%kboys be F!%kboys!” “You’re attracting the wrong type of guy.” And yes true, all of the above are all certain possibilities as to why guys don’t want to take us out, but there seems to be a pattern. And plus, as the paranoid twit that I am, I began to wonder why I’m not the type of girl that guys look at and go, “I would like to take the woman to dinner.” 

Are there such men like that anymore? Or am I ‘NON-WIFEABLE’ *DUN DUN DUN* (Insert dramatic music for effect)

Yes I said it non wifeable. A term most ladies do not want to hear. A term that can break the hopes and dreams of a young simpleton such as myself. 

But what does it mean?

It means you’re nice, but not nice enough to take seriously. It means a guy will like you, but only for a week. It means, he’ll pick you up, but just to take you back to his place. And of course the is all at your allowance, but nevertheless depressing af. 

I always get the feeling that guys are like, “she’s alright, but she’s not worth the trouble.”  So the point of this is, why is this happening? Is it the way I carry myself? Is it how I dress? The way I speak? Or perhaps is it that I never wear a bra? Ricdulous…  Do men really judge you on such things?  Do I really look like the type of woman that just doesn’t mind going back to his for a good ole netflx and chill session? And if so how do I not look llike that type of woman? Questions. Questions.

No don’t get me wrong I’m not changing for no one, but I like the idea of discussing possible ‘flaws’ in my persona that would deter men from wanting anything more that the odd night with me. (I’m crazy I know)

So I created a list of what I think men look at when they meet women. Like a sort of checklist of things that men will look at and think, “nope she’s not worth more than a text every month saying wuup2.”

So here it is. Things you should or shouldn’t do to somehow get a man to take you seriously. (This is a list made up by myself, some friends and opinions of various men that I know.)

  • If you met on tinder, then he’s already planning on hitting and quitting. Tinder has gotten itself quite a reputation of being a breeding ground for easy hookups, which is fine if you’re down for it. But don’t be surprised when the hottie you match with, just wants you to come back to his, when his mums at work.
  • Some men have this idea that if you dress a certain way, then you must be a certain type of person. The classic example is, if you need help and you see someone dressed like a police officer, you’re going to run up to them and ask for help. If the person turns around and says, “no sorry, I’m not actually  a police officer”, You’re going to be pretty pissed off. Some men see woman’s attire as the same thing. Essentially in the mind of some, if you dress like a hoe, you a hoe. I could go on all day about how stupid that theory is, but I’m not going too. Apparently me not wearing a bra causes some problems. *rolls eyes* 

  • If you are too independant. Crazy I know, but again some men think… She can take her own self out to dinner. They think it’s about money and it’s not. I just want to be taken out for a meal and all of that good dating stuff. I can pay for my half. 
  • If you do anything that is considered masculine or something a man would do. E.g. smoking, drinking from the bottle, swearing, being too laid back or “chill. In short: not “ladylike”.

  •  And of course the big one… Sex. Giving up the puntang on the first date was top on the list. For obvious reasons. Some men think you’re too easy, they got what they wanted and now they don’t have to bother.  Like OK sex is great. Staying at home, cuddled up is great. But sometimes it’s nice to go out for a meal. But some men find that to intimate… Like being inside someone isn’t intimate enough, making conversation with you across the table will just be too much.

Now all of these reasons listed above are nothing for you to worry about. If you meet someone and they don’t like the way you act or dress or whatever, then tough nuts. That is their problem not yours. 

I personally think you can be beautiful, cook, clean, be a ‘bad bitch’ in the bedroom and still not get taken seriously. The phrase ‘wifey material’ is bull. Be you and and someone will come along and like it enough to want to take you to Disneyland Paris. (Yes I would love that!)

I just keep telling myself that one day someone will come along and accept me in all my finery, including my flaws. Isn’t that the whole point of love or whatever? For the person to accept you. 

This isn’t a post to tell you how to become wifey material or to get a man. If you thought that was what it was going to be, then sorry hun, you on the wrong blog. I am way too young, inexperienced and single to be giving women advice on how to get a man. 😂 I AM SINGLE AF! SEND HELP!

The point of all this is, if a guy doesn’t want to take you seriously, say sayounara to him sister. No one is worth you stressing over. Remember that you are in control of what happens in your life. My friend and I actually decided to take ourselves out. We work, we make our own money and we enjoys our own or each others company, so it works out. “Imma take myself to nandos and stroke my own damn thigh.” 😂

So as you can tell I’ve been quite good throughout and not made this a personal attack on men. I do know that there are men out there that like to treat their lady. Good for you and especially good for her. But I am talking about a specific type of manbaby in this post. If you offended then I got news for you… *whispers* “you a little baby.”

Ladies until next time. 

Stay blessed.

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