Here we go again. I am back and ready to commit… To my blog that is.
Let’s jump straight into it. This has been a topic that I’ve been coming across a lot lately. And I’ve been asking myself… Am I a marriage person or a causal sex person? Do I want to spend the rest of my life with one man or do I want multiple lovers from across the globe?
Hmmmm… Both sound kinda good.
But for real, I’m freaking out. I don’t know what I want. Like…. Men are nice and all, but I’m still waiting to meet someone that I REALLY CONNECT WITH. I MEAN CONNECT WITH FULLY, LIKE 100%. I wanna be with someone that I can connect with emotionally, spiritually, physically, mentally and all of that good stuff. And unfortunately people now a days are just too guarded and messed up to even want to open up like that.
Millennial dating is way to complicated. We don’t trust each other, we don’t have the time, we can’t be bothered, we are selfish, we have crazy unrealistic expectations, Tinder exists. So trying to find someone and actually have a healthy relationship is hard and really rare.
Don’t get me wrong, its easy to meet someone you like, someone that you vibe with, someone who is nice. But at the end of the day most of us are only on 75%. You like cats, he likes cats, big deal, doesn’t mean you’re soulmates. Or maybe you guys have really good sex. Which means you are connecting 100% on a physical level, but what about everything else. Some of you couples be walking around on 5% mentally, fronting all over Instagram pretending to be happy. *kisses teeth in bajan*
And if you are OK living like that, then by all means go on and be “happy”. But I don’t want to do that, I mean I can and I have. But I want 100% from myself and my partner.
Until then, Imma keep my amazing ass single. So that leaves me with the option of either being celibate or having casual sex. So… Celibate?? Whats that?? (We can talk about that at another time) 😂😂😂
OK so maybe I should just hook up with random guys then? Just sex. And I mean just SEX. No feelings or anything like that…
Problem is sometimes your not in control of your emotions. Casual sex/dating can lead to more problems as well. You think it would be easy, but it can be just as stressful. One person might catch feelings and now its awkward. Like what do you do after that?? Just awkwardly delete their number or nah…
Its all good and easy saying you’re down to just have sex, but when he doesn’t wanna cuddle, you gon be feeling some type of way. All I’m saying is make sure you’re actually emotionally stable for that type of life. I always think I’m cool with it, but then if I don’t get a ‘Good Morning beautiful’ text, I’m all disappointed and whiny.
Unfortunately the casual sex life isn’t really for me either. I mean having sex is fun, thats why millions of people around the world do it. But hooking up with guys doesn’t bring me joy, it doesn’t bring me happiness, it doesn’t make me feel better as a person. All it does is allows me to briefly feel the comforts of a relationship and require some sort of male attention. And at of the end of the day, thats all I want… Male attention. And that’s certainly what a man can give you. But…
… you have to be careful. This type of attention can be damaging to you. If all your getting is a good dick down every week, from a guy who doesn’t even know your last name, then it can leave you feeling really drained. Trust me… You need to figure out what you really want.
I personally, would love to be in a relationship. As I said earlier, but a proper one, one that is healthy and beneficial to both parties. But life isnt that easy. So all I have to do now is get to know people. Date and talk and see what they’re really about.
And you should do the same my dear. If you’re reading this and having the same dilemma, then that is my advice. Take your time, get to know the guy. Sex is always an option, do it if you want. But just remember that just because a man gives you attention, doesn’t mean he’s worthy of yours. You don’t have to entertain every man that acknowledges you. *I tell myself this everyday.* As much ad I love our brothers, some of them are posion. And I’m not going to go round, trying to change them all. That’s too much stress on my soul. 😂😂
If you’re sitting there, reading this, thinking its not that deep. Then congratulations!!!! Go out and run free in the wild. I envy you.
Anyways, let me know what you think. Are you a marriage or casual sex type of person.
Until next time, stay blessed Queens 👑👑