Marriage or casual sex?

Here we go again. I am back and ready to commit… To my blog that is. 

Let’s jump straight into it.  This has been a topic that I’ve been coming across a lot lately. And I’ve been asking myself… Am I a marriage person or a causal sex person? Do I want to spend the rest of my life with one man or do I want multiple lovers from across the globe?

Hmmmm… Both sound kinda good.

But for real, I’m freaking out. I don’t know what I want. Like…. Men are nice and all, but I’m still waiting to meet someone that I REALLY CONNECT WITH. I MEAN CONNECT WITH FULLY, LIKE 100%. I wanna be with someone that I can connect with emotionally, spiritually, physically, mentally and all of that good stuff. And unfortunately people now a days are just too guarded and messed up to even want to open up like that. 

Millennial dating is way to complicated. We don’t trust each other, we don’t have the time, we can’t be bothered, we are selfish, we have crazy unrealistic expectations, Tinder exists. So trying to find someone and actually have a healthy relationship is hard and really rare.

Don’t get me wrong, its easy to meet someone you like, someone that you vibe with, someone who is nice. But at the end of the day most of us are only on 75%. You like cats, he likes cats, big deal, doesn’t mean you’re soulmates. Or maybe you guys have really good sex. Which means you are connecting 100% on a physical level, but what about everything else. Some of you couples be walking around on 5% mentally, fronting all over Instagram pretending to be happy. *kisses teeth in bajan* 

And if you are OK living like that, then by all means go on and be “happy”. But I don’t want to do that, I mean I can and I have. But I want 100% from myself and my partner. 

Until then, Imma keep my amazing ass single. So that leaves me with the option of either being celibate or having casual sex. So… Celibate?? Whats that?? (We can talk about that at another time) πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ 

OK so maybe I should just hook up with random guys then? Just sex. And I mean just SEX. No feelings or anything like that…

Problem is sometimes your not in control of your emotions. Casual sex/dating can lead to more problems as well. You think it would be easy, but it can be just as stressful. One person might catch feelings and now its awkward. Like what do you do after that?? Just awkwardly delete their number or nah…

Its all good and easy saying you’re down to just have sex, but when he doesn’t wanna cuddle, you gon be feeling some type of way. All I’m saying is make sure you’re actually emotionally stable for that type of life. I always think I’m cool with it, but then if I don’t get a ‘Good Morning beautiful’ text, I’m all disappointed and whiny.

Unfortunately the casual sex life isn’t really for me either. I mean having sex is fun, thats why millions of people around the world do it. But hooking up with guys doesn’t bring me joy, it doesn’t bring me happiness, it doesn’t make me feel better as a person. All it does is allows me to briefly feel the comforts of a relationship and require some sort of male attention. And at of the end of the day, thats all I want… Male attention.  And that’s certainly what a man can give you. But…

… you have to be careful. This type of attention can be damaging to you. If all your getting is a good dick down every week, from a guy who doesn’t even know your last name, then it can leave you feeling really drained. Trust me… You need to figure out what you really want. 

I personally, would love to be in a relationship. As I said earlier, but a proper one, one that is healthy and beneficial to both parties. But life isnt that easy. So all I have to do now is get to know people. Date and talk and see what they’re really about. 

And you should do the same my dear. If you’re reading this and having the same dilemma, then that is my advice. Take your time, get to know the guy. Sex is always an option, do it if you want. But just remember that just because a man gives you attention, doesn’t mean he’s worthy of yours. You don’t have to entertain every man that acknowledges you. *I tell myself this everyday.* As much ad I love our brothers, some of them are posion. And I’m not going to go round, trying to change them all. That’s too much stress on my soul. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

If you’re sitting there, reading this, thinking its not that deep. Then congratulations!!!! Go out and run free in the wild. I envy you. 

Anyways, let me know what you think. Are you a marriage or casual sex type of person. 

Until next time, stay blessed Queens πŸ‘‘πŸ‘‘

9 thoughts on “Marriage or casual sex?”

  1. I don’t understand the dichotomy. Why do you have to be one or the other? Your moods vary. Your needs vary. Trying to force you to fit a single mold all the time actually seems harmful.
    That said, there are functional and disfunctional marriages, and the same for casual sex. You need to know yourself well enough to know who/what’s going to help you and who/what isn’t.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Very true. There really doesn’t need to be one or the other. Some people get married and realise its not for them or some people have casual sex and realise its not what they want. It can vary.
      This post was just to open people up to thinking about both sides. The key to it, which you said, is knowing yourself. That can solve a lot of problems.

      Thank you for the comment.


  2. Well, exactly how I feel at this point of my life. So many thanks for being very frank about your feelings. It just means to me that there are both men and women who can be in similar mental state. Gender doesn’t really matter. Or does it? I have been in a very long relationship. I think I was happier with her than now with only by myself. She was not happy in the end and she left. Being loved feels good that I can tell. But now that I can never have what I had, I don’t know what I want anymore. I have fucked around with whores, with girls when I turned single. But now more than six months, I haven’t had sex because it started feeling meaningless to me. Girls started becoming less attractive to me because it feels like sometimes when I look at their eyes, they feel like I only want to fuck them. And that bothers me. Because I just feel like to connect with someone. But one thing I realize is that that 100% connection is something very rare. Definitely I haven’t met all the mindful or horny girls in this world, and you also haven’t met all the assholes or nice spirited man in the world. So, who is right for me can never be truly justified. I am jealous of those (in a good way) who feel like they have met their soul mate. Well, may be we will both find ours too. So, best wishes darling.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Its nice to see a man commenting. A male perspective is always needed. I would like to know, has not having sex in 6 months helped your relationships with people? Do you find you get to know girls better, now that sex isn’t involved? Or no?
      I ask because I want to know if celibacy is road people should go down, in order to create meaningful relationships.
      Thanks for the comment.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I never had any serious problems in terms of communicating with people, had good friendly relationship with girls. I always had female friends and they seemed to be enjoying my company. So, in terms of getting girls know better, the answer is no. It’s kind of opposite now. I always had respect for girls, but day by day I’m losing respect for them. Because I find most women to be opportunistic and self centric. Well, may be I should not generalize. Human being in general is opportunistic and self centric. I’m close to 30 now, so the women around my image and above, they mostly want to settle down with someone successful and attractive and younger girls on the other hand just like to have fun. So, the sweet mindful girls are rare to find, I am not saying that they don’t exist. Most girls I get attracted to either have boyfriends or married. So, apparently good girls are picked earlier. Celibacy can help you realize that you can deal with your loneliness, your sexually without the presence of the opposite gender. Not having sex can be tough often, specially if you are choosy about with whom you want to share your body. However, I live in a conservative region of united states where male to female ratio is very low, meaning few woman per man, so I think in liberal places with more women, life may be different. Thanks.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Firstly, the end had me laughing hard! Thanks for opening up the conversation, I’m saying marriage though just to keep one Self safe and all the way committed. But each to their own if they wait or not x

    Liked by 1 person

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