Why I’m Single

So for the black love segment, I’d thought start with the whole being black and single thing. I will do another post in the segment about how being black effects you in the dating scene. But this is about my personal experience with dating and the reasons why I am single.

Being 20 is a time, where your at that awkward age. I don’t really feel like a grown adult, but I don’t necessarily consider myself to still be a child. (that can be up for argument ha) And dating at my age, is well, awkward. Having to go through the whole, “Hi, my name is Aldaira.” And then them going, “Aldedlefmewnikdow3mdidiefmewi32=dkmcwra?? That’s a funny name, where are you from.?” I bet your like, wow give the guy a chance, he’s just making conversation. Yes, I know that, the point I’m making is everything is the same with every guy. Same conversation, same situation, same end result. I never get excited anymore, when talking to a guy, no matter how amazingly good looking he is.  I talk to guys, then get bored and we both end up not texting each other. (FYI, before anyone comments, saying I should give guys a chance. I DO.)

Why do I get bored, you ask? People have no depth to them, I’m not going to say men, because us girls are just as bad. (Which is why we need to work on the whole Queen thing, I was talking about.)

Depth means there is more to you, than the fact that you play fifi and like watching Love and Hip Hop. (No shade, you do you boo.) I find that things tend to stay at that level, instead becoming more meaningful, more emotional. I’m too deep for most guys. Guys want to be deep inside me, instead of deep inside my thoughts. I want to talk about the world, I want to talk about our aspirations and goals. I want to debate, I want to disagree and agree. I want to reminisce, talk about the times when we were little. I want laugh and cry. I want to be myself, my true self around this guy. I want to travel. I want us to exchange knowledge. I want us to improve each other, without having to change our very essence.

See what I mean by deep?

*the not so deep version* A guy who can cook or buy me food all the time would be good too. 😉

The guys I have met just don’t have any interest in any of this, or at least don’t with me. They just want you do come to their house and “Chill.” *insert black girl attitude face* So I thought, maybe it’s the type of guys I’m talking to. But I don’t now, I’ve been on dates with hood guys, artsy guys, ‘educated’ guys, nerdy guys and it’s all the same. I’ve even gone on dates with guys, who are older than me to see if it’s a immature 20 year old thing. Nope, all the same. Do I look like the type of girl that wants to just ‘Chill’? Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with ‘chilling’, but I actually want to get to know the person. I don’t just want to go to your mum’s house and have you feeling up on me, while you play Xbox. Let me stop, I’m starting to sound like a stuck up bitch. But you get what I mean?


Plus I have social anxiety, me dating a guy is too hilarious. I’m there all sweating and worrying about how I look. I’m quiet and awkward, I have a little bit of attitude (Cause that’s actually me flirting.) So by the end of the night, he’s thinking wow maybe this girl doesn’t like me. Which isn’t the case. I’m just so nervous, meaning I probably said something stupid like, ” Oh you eat with a rice fork, my ex used to do that.”(Yes I know, what the hell.) *face palm*Or I probably spit my food all over the table laughing. Then we get into a whole week later and I still haven’t got a text, I get mad and the whole “N***as ain’t S**t”thing is created. And this is the cycle I have been going through for the past year.

So is it me? Or is it the whole male sex?

I’m going to say neither. I just think I have yet to meet someone who vibrates on my level. My ex and all those horribly wrong dates, were just not the one for me. I mean, this isn’t Disney, so let’s keep it realistic, but I have hope. One day, when I sort myself out and I will meet someone and be happy. (Like a more realistic version of Disney’s happily ever after.) I don’t want to be the single bitter friend at my girl’s wedding in a few years, drunk at the table, talking about how men ain’t nothing. And it’s not all men’s fault, us ladies need to work on ourselves as well, in order to find a King.

So why am I single?

The universe is waiting for me to build, learn, find myself and become a Queen. Then I will be able to find someone who accepts me and I accept him. 1+1= 2 right? Well, I need to become one with myself first. (see what I did there)  I am still really young. Let’s do a update, when I’m 30.

So what do you think ladies? Are you in a relationship? Are you single? Why? Any advice or a young black girl out here? Let me know in the comments below.

Stay Blessed Queens.

6 thoughts on “Why I’m Single”

  1. More single than a Pringle! 🙋🏾 lol. Of course we all long for a connection with someone but I’ve learned to work on my inner being, build a closer relationship with God, and just have fun with my friends in the mean time. I want the man for me to be so attracted to my inner being that he sees the glow of God in and on me. Until then, I’m just chilling and traveling lol. We’re too worthy to not be fulfilled and have what we want and until the right one comes, hold ya crown high girlfriend. Of course we date and “talk” to guys to find out what we like and don’t like because it’s all a part of the game of dating. But have fun, this is literally the youngest and most attractive we’ll ever be, not to mention that this is the time we’ll have the least amount of responsibilities ever in life. Plus, our generation has just slaughtered real dating lol. Continue love on yourself until the one finds YOU. Love you, my sister! ✊🏾👑

    Liked by 1 person

  2. If guys find you “too deep” then you’re talking to the wrong guys. Most guys in their 20s aren’t looking to get deep, so I can’t promise you anything soon, its not like the days before computers and telephones when guys had to make a real effort to know women if they wanted a shot. Its more diffucult now, that the millenial generation was raised on computers and internet chat rooms, which I think has an effect on our relationships and how we “get along” with people in the real world. In other words, the whole “awkward” thing will continue for other coming age youngins’ too.


    1. Omg thank you Queen. Your right, its a mixture of age an the type of guys I meet. I will just have to focus on myself and wait.

      Thank you for your comment.

      Stay Blessed.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I know you’re on the right track. Getting to know who you are , what your boundaries are, what you stand for, forming your own opinions not just regurgitating others thoughts, learning to enjoy being alone with yourself, learning not to be embarrassed with the fact that you snort when you laugh. These are things I’m now learning in my late 30’s. Don’t you worry, you’re on the right track.


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