Right let’s do this. I was putting this off because I was trying to find my own definition of what I think a Queen is. But yeah… I think I got it. First let’s see what the famous Google has to say about the definition of a Queen.
*love the way they use Queen Victoria as an positive example for a Queen and the name Monique ( a name popular amongst black women) as a negative one. Interesting.*
Anyway, my definition of a Queen is a little different. I agree that being a Queen is your right, whether you accept that or not. So as black women we ‘inherit the position’ as our birth right. Simply because we are that amazing. I agree that, just like chess, you as a black woman are the most powerful component in your family. And… must be protected by the rest of the ‘players’ e.g. your husband the king.
Now this is where it gets interesting, with the whole ‘unpleasantly superior’ part. Before I gained KOS (knowledge of self) I always imagined a Queen to be some old miserable white woman, who had the power to behead people. I’m guessing I got that from ‘Alice in Wonderland’ and other films. So the idea of being bossy and unpleasant comes from that, but being a Queen does not mean you have to be a condescending bitch. And trust me ladies, black women really don’t need to be getting called bitches anymore than we already are. Now there is a difference between reinforcing your dominance and just being petty. And I am the Queen of petty. ( this is something I’m working on ha) So for example there comes a time when a Queen must put her foot down, so maybe you have to punish your children. Or put someone in their place, or check someone’s privilege. This should not make you ‘unpleasantly superior’ or be labelled as the ‘angry black woman’, like most of us do.
And being a Queen doesn’t mean you can’t have flaws, as I said I have some stuff to work on. You can be both a masterpiece and a work of progress at the same time, its OK.
Now going back to the definition of a Queen and the part about being the ruler of an ‘independent state’. So to be a queen, as told by Google, I have to own something or somewhere. As of now, I have not got that. Ultimate goals would be to be Queen of Zamunda, but I’ll start with finding my own place. My advise if anything to the ladies reading this, would be to make sure YOU own something. Create something for yourself that you can rightfully claim as yours. For example, my dream is to open my own business. Living in London as a natural, means you have to buy your Cantu Shea butter from the local Asian (Indian) man. This is something that irritates me and I will go into this in another post. But my dream would be to open a hair care chain of stores in London, that sells products for black women, sold by black women.This would be my independent state, my empire. So you understand me now, create and own something for yourself. This also goes into the idea of black power/economics, which yet again will be another post.
So what does it mean to be a Queen?
1. Being amazing (by which I mean believing you are. Confidence is key and do not allow anyone to tell or treat you any differently.)
2. Own your own shit (excuse my language, but that’s how I feel)
3. Work on your flaws (we all have them. Even me and I’m very near perfect *insert smug face*)
4. Respect your temple ( I almost forgot to talk about this)
*Respecting your temple… Simply means to look after your body. And I don’t mean by putting on lots of makeup (do that if you want.) Eat right, exercise, get to know your body. Wash your kitty and make sure she gets some loving. Actually I might dedicate a whole post to this topic. Just remember your body is your temple and you are the Goddess it was created for.*
5. Do what you want (Because as black women it doesn’t matter what we do, we always wrong.)
6. Be happy (not the fake happy. Put yourself first and TRY find true happiness)
7.Embrace your individuality
8. Lead by example ( Teach the little queens a lil something. I don’t think I’m fit to be a role model, but teaching little black girls that they are beautiful is something I can do.
9. Have your own opinion. (You don’t have to agree with someone because they are a woman or because they are black. Agree, disagree, speak up. Everything I’ve written on here is purely my HONEST opinion, you do not have to agree with what I say. Please by all means comment and if you care so much, go make your own blog. Be yourself.)
10. Support your King (When I say this I not only mean your man, but all black men, all black people. You do not need a King to be a Queen, but a nice chocolate brother at your side is always a plus. There is a difference between needing and wanting. Support him, love him and he will/should give you the same in return. Do not bash black men in front of people and say they ain’t nothing. I know they drive us crazy and we have a lot of work to do, but this is important.)
Right I think that is it. Comment below to let me know your opinions and thank you Queens.